The Late Show host Stephen Colbert torched the eight members of the Democratic caucus who crossed party lines to end the government shutdown on Sunday, accusing them of “crumbling like a granola bar in your backpack” to Republicans without winning any real concessions.
During Monday night’s opening monologue, Colbert opened with mock relief that the country’s “long national nightmare” was ending, before turning his fire on the “Democratic defectors”:
At how many days? 41 days so far, it’s the longest in U.S. history. Democrats have been holding the line, demanding Republicans compromise to keep Affordable Care Act subsidies available for millions of Americans. Well, last night, eight Democratic senators voted with Republicans to fund the government through January without any Affordable Care Act guarantees.
The studio erupted in boos before Colbert delivered the punchline: “So, yes, yes, the shutdown may have been long and painful for millions of Americans, but at least it achieved jack squat.”
Colbert went on to mock the supposed concession those Democrats received in the promise from Senate Majority Leader John Thune to hold a vote on the Affordable Care Act in December.
“That’s when people get down to serious work, December. You work about six days, and half of that is spent doing a mandatory office door decorating contest,” he jibed, before adding:
The vast majority of Democrats do not want this. None of those eight Senate Democrats are up for re reelection next year and two have announced they are retiring from the Senate. What a disappointing way to end your career. Reminds me of when Journey released their last single, ‘We Stopped Believing’, did they? I don’t know.
The comedian also singled out Senator Jeanne Shaheen (D-NH) – “the Joker’s proud aunt” – sniping that she “crumbled like a granola bar in your backpack” while quoting back a question she shared in her own defense, allegedly from her consitutents: “They say ‘why can’t you all just work together to address the problems that are facing this country?’”
“Because the country is being run by insane people!” he retorted.
He continued, mocking her: “My constituents want to know why we can’t work with the meth-addled chimps who broke into the cockpit and are now flying the plane. Some of their ideas are reasonable, although admittedly some are bananas.”
The post Stephen Colbert Shreds ‘Democratic Defectors’ Who Ended Shutdown: ‘They Crumbled Like a Granola Bar’ first appeared on Mediaite.
