The Duchess of York‘s charities have cancelled her as patron and her brand is now utterly toxic. As Prince Andrew and his ex-wife hunker down hoping the backlash over the latest revelations about her extensive friendship with convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein will go away, the Yorks must be wondering whether things can get any worse.

Well, yes they can. And they are about to.

The revelation by The Mail on Sunday this week of an email she sent to Epstein in 2011 was bad enough.

In it, she called Epstein her ‘supreme friend’, said she wanted to ‘humbly apologise’ to him and that she knew Epstein would ‘feel hellaciously let down’ by her.

The supine apology came, of course, a few weeks after she had publicly denounced him, saying in an interview it had been a ‘gigantic error of judgment’ to have had dealings with him and vowing to ‘have nothing ever to do with Jeffrey Epstein ever again’.

Once again, Fergie’s egregious behaviour painted the Yorks in the worst possible light.

And yet the scandal surrounding Andrew and his association with Epstein is about to plumb new depths.

Because in a few weeks the posthumous autobiography of the late Virginia Giuffre, the young woman who claimed she was trafficked by Epstein for sex with Prince Andrew (which the Prince denies) will be published.

It means Andrew will be on trial once again, in the unforgiving court of public opinion.

The publishers Alfred A. Knopf reveal Giuffre completed the 400-page manuscript before she took her own life in April this year and have made clear it was her ‘heartfelt wish’ the memoir would still be published in the event of her death.

Without giving the exact date, they have let it be known publication will take place next month. And they claim the book contains ‘intimate, disturbing, and heartbreaking new details about her time with Epstein, Maxwell, and their many well-known friends, including Prince Andrew’.

And so in a few short weeks the memoir will be heaping yet more scandal upon not only the Yorks but by association the entire Royal Family. And this, inevitably will resurrect calls for Andrew and Fergie to be exiled from the royals for ever.

Who knows what salacious details a memoir about a very young woman trafficked by Epstein will contain? How much will the Duke be implicated or disgraced?

Will Prince Andrew attempt another TV interview to try to exonerate himself? He reached an out-of-court settlement with Giuffre in 2022 in which he reportedly paid her around £12 million, but has denied all claims against him including her allegation that he sexually abused her three times. One of those occasions was, she claimed, at the London home of his friend Ghislaine Maxwell, currently serving 20 years in a US prison for her role in recruiting and trafficking minors for sex.

We do not yet know what the book will say. But we can be certain that when it is published, the headlines it generates around the world will be lurid, accusatory, shameful and humiliating.

Whether Giuffre’s accusations are true or not, whatever Andrew’s response, we will all be reminded of the greed, the idiocy and the arrogance of the disgraced Prince and Duchess who climbed into bed with a monster and a paedophile.

Truly Virginia Giuffre will continue to haunt the Yorks from beyond the grave for as long as they live.

Portillo’s on track

Michael Portillo was once my nemesis. I was even blamed for him missing out on the Tory leadership by one vote after my boss William Hague resigned, because I described him as part-man, part-ego, so vain he couldn’t pass a spoon without admiring his reflection in it.

Now I like him and look forward to his Great British Railway Journeys series. In hindsight, he should be grateful to me because leaving politics – showbusiness for ugly people – turned him into a TV star.

Cabbie Gary Poland fled after dropping off the Southport killer despite hearing ‘blood-curdling screams’ of girls ‘running for their lives’. He didn’t call the police for almost an hour, saying he ‘panicked and fled for his own safety’. But he did call a friend who told him the killer had stabbed ‘about 15 kids’. Poland replied: ‘Unbelievable, innit. Christ.’ His cowardice should haunt him for the rest of his miserable days.

Thanks Rihanna, for sharing your joy

While pretentious minor ‘stars’ post pictures of mum and new baby with their precious child’s face covered and refuse to divulge the child’s name for security reasons, superstar Rihanna and her husband AS$P – worth $1.4billion – share a beautiful picture of their daughter cradled in mum’s arms. The baby’s angelic face is revealed.

And they tell us her name: Rocki.

Much guessing as to why Coleen Rooney stayed with her serial cheating, alcoholic husband Wayne. Of course, she’s a millionairess off the back of his fame and their upcoming Disney+ TV show. But most importantly, if he’s sloshed when he gets home, she can ‘friend-zone’ him as they say on Love Island.

Nineties series Baywatch is to return. Although in this woke world how will that work? The cast would have to tick boxes for inclusivity. And it’s unlikely an actress with bazookas like Pamela Anderson would make the final cut. Unless she wore a burkini.

Redford’s Sundance Kidding

After Robert Redford’s death it was revealed that far from being the handsome, ruthless, sharp-shooter portrayed by Redford in the movie Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, the real Sundance, aka Harry Longabaugh, was short, stooped and dentally challenged. He was also a hopeless grifter, henpecked by his wife. Oh, and he was unlikely to have shot anyone… except by accident.

After his triumphant pseudo royal tour, Prince Harry sources let it be known he plans to visit the UK more and spend more time with his father King Charles. A bit of a slap in the face then that after his 55-minute chat with Pa over a cuppa he’s back in California – while William is in Scotland with the King, spending serious father and son time.

Launching his undie range, David Gandy reveals that at 45 he’s left his budgie smuggler days behind him as he prefers his new Ultimate Trunk range, snug stretch-fit ‘shorts’ available in packs of three for £45.

Before we ladies rush out and buy them for our better halves, we should stop and think what snug stretchy shorts would look like on them – and probably agree to stick to M&S’s baggy cotton boxers.

Westminster Wars

Tony Blair has put forward plans to personally lead an interim government in post-war Gaza to establish peace. This from a war-hungry PM who ordered British troops into combat five times. Crikey, haven’t those poor Palestinians suffered enough?

A heart-sinking moment when we learned that while 100,000 more pensioners won’t get the winter fuel allowance, up to 364 illegal migrants are living in a four-star London Hilton hotel with free meals and rooms heated day and night.

And who would have believed it was a legal right of migrants in asylum hotels to get taxis to their doctors – while the rest of us wait weeks for a GP appointment and catch the bus there?

Who cares that Colin Firth’s ex-wife Livia is so upset over the King hosting Donald Trump that she has returned her MBE and ripped up the accompanying certificate. The woman who makes hideous clothes out of recycled plastic bottles, bamboo wool, pineapple leaves and old leather shoes, doesn’t even live in the UK. Thankfully, Her Smugness Livia has gone back to her native Italy.

Model citizen Maya

Perfectly rounded and utterly gorgeous Love Island presenter Maya Jama earned £2.5million from her TV work and brand deals last year – and paid £570,326 in tax. Heartening to see Maya didn’t follow some TV celebs who, with their elaborately complicated tax avoidance arrangements, try to skip paying their fair share.