Kim Kardashian doesn’t beat around the bush — she slaps a price tag on it.
As pop culture’s premier provocateur, the Skims bigwig, 44, is now peddling panties spangled with synthetic pubic hair in a variety of colors, lengths and textures.
And the fuzzy, buzzy undies — officially the Ultimate Bush micro string thong — have sent the fur flying online.
Critics of the controversial underclothes have threatened Kim K with fashion jail time due to their startling look, while fans of the $32 underpants — which have already sold out since debuting Tuesday — hail her a marketing “genius.”
Amelia Ward, a Manhattanite brand strategist for luxury fashion and beauty lines, called the VIP voluptuary’s risqué retail “unsurprising” given the nature of her look-at-me family.
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“The Kardashians, as a brand, thrive off of controversy and shock factor,” Ward told The Post, crediting the celebrity sisters with “dictating what version of the female form we collectively lust after.”
“They’ve given us different iterations of how the female body can be used as a trend,” she added, acknowledging the tribe for launching scads of cosmetic surgery fads over the nearly two decades since Kim’s rise to internet infamy.
And it’s a modus operandi that the billionaire likely won’t soon abandon.
“What’s more controversial and explicit than a woman in her most natural form?” said Ward of the Skims bushy bottoms. “In all likelihood, her audience is made of the kind of women who’ve done laser [pubic hair removal] their whole lives and can’t grow their own hair.
“This gives them the opportunity to achieve the natural look in an unnatural way.”
It’s the era of lady-crotch commodification.
As style savants like Doja Cat and Julia Fox lead the charge in bringing back the “full bush” — showcasing their downstairs hairs on red carpets and runways, prompting everyday women to follow suit in their bikini bathing suits — it only makes sense for Kardashian to make dollars off of the craze.
Following in the moneymaking footsteps of Goop CEO Gwyneth Paltrow, who memorably hawked a “This Smells Like My Vagina” candle for $75, Kardashian is simply capitalizing on the body part that folks have been fetishizing for years.
Gambling on the notion that sex still sells in post-#MeToo, pro-feminism 2025, the A-lister introduced her Ultimate Bush gear with a tongue-in-cheek video ad, nodding coyly to 1970s au naturel nostalgia.
The promo, which has garnered more than a combined 4 million Instagram and TikTok views, features model contestants on a vintage-style game show entitled “Does the Carpet Match the Drapes?” — an antiquated, crude expression aimed at determining whether the strands of a woman’s privates mimic the look of her mane.
NYC stylist Samantha Brown told The Post the “obscene” pubic hair panties will likely flop as a longstanding fashion trend.
“Will they sell this product to die-hard fans? Absolutely. Do I believe this is going to spark anything beyond a blip of media attention? No,” insisted Brown, a veteran wardrobe whiz to the stars. “This is clearly targeted to those who will post and dialogue about the campaign on social media.”
Dawn Del Russo, a professional fashionista and author, agreed, likening the hairy skivvies to the Skims nipple bra — a padded apparatus featuring built-in faux nipples that caused a virtual stir during its emergence in October 2023.
However, the Gotham glamour gal doubts Kim’s hair-raising drawers will reach the same level of popularity.
“The nipple bra was somewhat of a success. Do I think these will be? No,” she told The Post, predicting that die-hard devotees of the reality TV icon are buying the outré undergarments for clout, rather than couture.
“I can’t see them enhancing a look,” Del Russo laughed, “besides drawing attention and [making strangers] say, ‘What is that?’”
